adminNowadays, communication goes more through digital means than face-to-face. It’s much easier, it’s a lot quicker, and it doesn’t require traveling. However, it’s also a dangerous trend.
When you have a discussion with someone in real life, you get something that’s totally missing when you can’t look someone in the eyes. Without eye contact, it’s impossible to read someone’s body language, facial expressions, and aura (or energy, chi, or whatever you’d like to call it). In real life, sometimes you decide it’s better to not start an argument. Because you might end up in a heated situation, throwing random words at each other. Not fun.
Behind a keyboard, you can just type anything you want. And because it’s easy and you live 100% of the time in your own brain, you type words. The person receiving the message misses a lot of clues to interpret your intention. How you perceive a message that is received also depends a lot on how you feel that day and what your relationship is with the person who sent you the message.
I’m not a statistics nerd, but I reckon the chances are pretty high that there’s a big gap between the intention of sending a message and the perception of a received message. When messages go back and forth, things can go sour rather quickly. For example, I send a neutral message to you. You are having a bad hair day, so you’re insecure. You interpret my message with cynicism. You send a cynical message back. I’m a bit annoyed with your message. I send a short message back. You think that I’m angry. And so on, and so forth. The spiral goes down.
The thing is that even with face-to-face contact, we will never know for sure what someone else thinks and feels. Through digital contact, it’s absolutely impossible to know what someone thinks and feels. Communicating through digital means has a tendency to turn into a pickle. I guess because it’s how our brains are wired: focusing on danger and reacting to survive.
So, my conclusion is that:
1) It’s always best to meet in person
2) If we can’t meet in person, we should call
3) If we can’t call, a message should be sent to meet in person or to call
4) If none of the above applies, get ready for shit to hit the fan, or try to stay open minded and think about someone else’s day. And if things turn into a digital battle royale, start at 1).
Unfortunately, the gap between sending a message and meeting in person is exactly as far as the physical distance you have between the person you want to have interaction with. If someone is on the other side of the planet, it’s easier to send a message. If someone is sitting next to you, it’s silly to send a message. But if someone is in another room or on another floor, the temptation to send a message grows.
I’m not any better than anyone else. I send more messages than I talk to people in person. It’s almost a frictionless thing to do, but the downside is that a conversation can go down the gutter. The conclusion is that we should meet people more often in person. Especially the ones you want to have a good relationship with. The rest can go suck on my message.