adminAt 20.00 we drove back from a visit to my sister’s restaurant. We had a 40-minute drive home. Ollie was crying for 39 minutes. When you read this, your first reaction might be that we are bad parents. To be honest, that thought also crossed my mind. But after some consideration, I don’t think what we did was a bad thing.
Usually, Ollie just falls asleep when we’re driving. Sometimes immediately, most often when we are on the highway. If we have to drive two hours, he’s asleep until he’s inside our home. This time, it was different though.
So, after 15 minutes of driving and screaming from the backseat, we decided to stop at a McDonald’s parking lot. In the pouring rain, I opened my door, got Ollie out of his Maxi-Cosi, walked over to Mandy’s door, and went back in the car again. Immediately, Ollie started drinking. We thought that we had the solution. But we were wrong.
After just two minutes, Ollie started noticing the rain outside. He got distracted, but at least he was quiet. After a couple of attempts, we decided to continue our trip home. It took only two corners before the howling in the backseat resumed. It was only another 25 minutes back home. Normally, just a short ride. This time, it felt like an eternity.
Mandy and I decided to keep on driving so that Ollie could be calmed at home. Mandy did her best to keep Ollie calm, but unfortunately none of the usual tricks worked. A few weeks ago, he didn’t want to use the pacifier anymore unless he put it in his mouth himself. Normally, we can stick a finger in his mouth, and he starts chewing and sucking to calm himself. Sometimes, he uses his own hand or any given toy. Today, nothing.
Well, the reason our baby is so upset is actually good news. For more than a month, he has been drooling constantly. For babies, that usually means one thing: the start of teething. And today, at 5.5 months, we can see and feel his first tooth. Our baby is getting big now (we’ll probably say this a lot).
So, why do I think that we’re not bad parents? Well, when a baby is teething, he will always feel discomfort and pain. As grown-ups, this is already bad. And of course, babies don’t have the capacity to handle that pain. Only distraction and soothing can help. But in a car seat, that’s impossible.
On top of that, a baby and a child will cry. It’s inevitable. We all have cried. A lot when we were young. Some people might claim that crying as a baby can be traumatic. Although there might be rare cases of trauma from crying as a baby, and assuming that there is no physical or psychological abuse, we are all just fine. Of course we have our issues and all have emotional scars. But those stem from later in life. Not from being a baby.
The crying now is a phase. Especially as a baby. It’s a sign that something is wrong. A lot of times, we can fix it. Hungry, sleepy, frustrated, bored. But pain- that’s more difficult. All we can do is be there for Ollie when he needs us. And sometimes, we have to make a decision. Have discomfort now to be more relaxed later. Since we arrived home, Ollie has cried for another 5 minutes. He had a good drink from Mommy Milk Factory. And now he’s asleep for already four hours. Let’s see how long it takes before Ollie has a big smile full of teeth.