adminOn our holiday in Normandy, we went out for dinner with Ollie, who was then four months old. Ollie was asleep on my chest in a baby sling. Sitting behind us was an older couple. A couple of times, they looked at our table. It made me a bit annoyed, as I thought that they were condemning us for going out for dinner at 19.30 with a baby.
When Ollie woke up, they said to us in Dutch, ” What a lovely baby you have. We’ve already noticed him when he was asleep. What a cute and sweet boy.” First of all, I was surprised that they were also Dutch. Secondly, my previous assumption was totally wrong. For most of the dinner, Ollie was quiet. However, as babies do, they sometimes make uncontrolled noise, which made me uncomfortable.
So, now I’m thinking: where does the uncomfy feeling come from? Ever since I was little, I’ve always felt that everyone in the room is looking at me. Although I know that, in fact, people are mostly minding their own business and sometimes look around, I still have the feeling of staring eyes. in this specific situation I was thinking that people were looking at us because Ollie made noise, or that they think we are bad parents for going out for dinner with a baby.
The woman’s comments and the lovely chat we had made me realize that I was overthinking. Of course, there will be people who think that we shouldn’t go out for dinner anymore. Opinions about how to raise a child are like politics. Everyone has an opinion; everyone thinks they know best. But no one has a solution that works for everyone.
And for raising a child, I think there’s no one-size-fits-all solution. Every child is different. Every situation is different. Should everything be catered to the child’s needs? I don’t think so. Should we, as parents, also still enjoy life a little? For sure. Is there a middle ground? I think so. But that’s the whole challenge: figuring out what works for you. And you never know if you never try.